James Landrith is...Taking The Gloves Off: syndicated

left-libertarian blogger, publisher, Marine and civil liberties activist

 

There are open letters and campaigns circulating the blogosphere regarding rape joke "humor" and Facebook groups that also promote such.   While I support the message that rape "humor" is not so funny and can be quite damaging to survivors exposed to such, some of the underlying assumptions are incorrect.  A few of the worst assumptions are outlined below:

• Only men promote rape jokes seems to be the underlying theme of both the Facebook campaign and the open letters.

As a male survivor, I disagree with the assumption that only men make rape jokes.  My own personal experience flies in the face of that ridiculous assertion. I cannot count how many women I’ve seen laugh along with male rape jokes both on TV, movies or in the work place.  Further, I've seen the word "rape" used to describe trivial matters on such a regular basis by both women and like men.  Clearly, failure to grasp the magnitude of that word is not limited to one gender.

Search for “female rapist” on Twitter and you will find many women tweeting rape jokes all day long. Don’t even bother with prison rape jokes as women are also some of the worst offenders in that category too.  I was raped by a woman. Really. It fucking happens. I can't possibly explain how fucking triggering it is to be confronted with jokes about female rapists on a fairly regular basis.I've lost track of how many times I've seen this play out in movies, television and online.

Obviously that doesn't count as a man is not making the jokes and a woman is not the victim.

• Rape Is No Joke's cofounder Katie Aslop further asserts that male survivors are "statistically insignificant."

This blatant form of minimization and promotion of a survivor hierarchy undermines the awareness campaign they've been building.  Someone needs to explain to me why it is necessary for the co-founder of RINJ to minimize and lie about male survivors in order to fight these disgusting rape joke groups on Facebook.  I've yet to see a compelling, non-sexist reason from RINJ.  This needs to be addressed maturely and compassionately by someone with actual experience with male rape survivor issues.

Given that we (male survivors of sexual violence) actually number in the MILLIONS, it should not be hard to find a knowledgable and compassionate person to explain it.  Clearly, Katie Aslop is NOT that person.  Further, RINJ seems to be making their argument based on stats that DO NOT INCLUDE most female rapists, nor most forms of rape used against men and boys as part of the data sets.  How can someone make the argument that male survivors are "statistically insignificant" by using stats that completely omit most male survivors based on alternate language or built-in biases that exclude most female rapists and sex abusers?  Yes, the stats were cherry-picked off of RAINN's website.  Howver, RAINN did not fund nor collect those stats.  Further, those statistical models have been picked apart and the biases exposed several times over. For better models, see Jacob Taylor's article and visit 1in6.

So, men need to stop making rape jokes and looking the other way while other men do it? HOW ABOUT EVERYONE NEEDS TO FUCKING STOP.

Now. Thanks for being a buddy. You're the best.

Some sample links to the open letters:

• http://oforganon.tumblr.com/post/11150747104/to-all-those-men-who-dont-think-the-rape-jokes-are-a 
• http://talkinreckless.com/2011/11/29/an-earnest-letter-to-guys-about-the-problem-with-rape-joke/

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An Open Letter to SCCC President Paul Killpatrick on Sexual Assault as the “Last Straw”

Seattle Central Community College
Office of the President
Paul Killpatrick, PhD 
1701 Broadway
Seattle, WA 98122

 
November 27, 2011

Dear Mr. Killpatrick,

I appreciate that SCCC may be less-than-willing hosts to the current Occupy Seattle encampment. However, I am truly saddened that you identified an attempted sexual assault as “the last straw” to evict Occupy Seattle.

SCCC and the Occupy Movement exist in the context of our broader culture and society where sexual assault is a significant social problem. Citing the attempted assault as a reason to evict the Occupy Seattle encampment takes appalling advantage of someone who has been the victim of a crime.

Using the attempted sexual assault to discredit a peaceful political movement is a reprehensible manipulation of a terrible situation. As a neighbor to SCCC, I am deeply surprised that no one in your institution--students, faculty or support staff--has yet publicly stated their opposition to your remarks.

I see from SCCC campus crime statistics that no sexual assaults have been reported in the last three years. As a former Women’s Center program director at a small college in Oregon, I can assure you that a lack of reports does not mean a lack of incidents. Rather, a lack of reports indicates an institutional climate where persons experiencing sexual assault do not feel safe enough to come forward for support.

Please do not politicize a personal tragedy for the political gain of your institution. There are other ways to work with the people at the Occupy Seattle encampment.

In solidarity with survivors,

Robin DeBates, MSW, LSWAIC
Volunteer with Occupy Seattle Medical Work Group

------------------

Robin works as a therapist providing crisis assessment and intervention services for youth in King County, and for all ages in Snohomish County. She has worked with individuals and families in crisis since 1999 in settings ranging from special needs summer camp to a domestic violence shelter, youth residential treatment and hospital-based emergency medicine. Her website is available here: http://growing-hope.com

This entry also posted here: http://remodel4life.blogspot.com/2011/11/open-letter-to-sccc-president-paul.html

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Jacob Taylor of Toy Soldiers on "Oh Dear... ":

Hugo Schwyzer does not like my Good Men Project article. According to his twitter feed, my article is “Most dishonest thing I’ve see at @goodmenproject: ‘Women Rape Boys Too’ … Conflates rape stats with other abuse stats.”

I am not sure how I conflated rape statistics with other abuse statistics given that all the examples were specifically about sexual abuse. The editors on GMP did not include the links to the studies and articles, but I did include them in my version of the post. Anyone who reads them would see that I am not confusing physical or emotional abuse with sexual abuse.

It is rather egregious to accuse me of deliberately misrepresenting statistics without citing a single example of me doing so. Obviously Schwyzer could not do that on twitter, but he did not cite anything in his response on GMP either.  It takes little effort to accuse someone of lying, but I think a person should invest some time in proving that claim if they going to go on a twitter rant over it.

Schwyzer and his dittoheads, while not going away, are in for a rude awakening. Male survivors of sexual violence are not going to sit idly by while people who aren't stakeholderrs in our healing peddle misinformation and half-truths intended to minimize, re-wound and silence actual, living, breathing sexual violence survivors for the sake of their academic or political arguments. We are done sitting in the corner and in the dark, with our heads hung low.

He just might as well get some better earplugs. While only recently have we begun to find our voice, some of us can be pretty damned loud.

There is a storm brewing in the male survivor community and things ARE going to change.  You can help or you can ignore us, but you can no longer expect to brazenly hinder us without consequence.  Those days are officially over.

Get ready.

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Perhaps Movember has become so popular because of the way we’re treating it—like it’s a cute little initiative worth supporting, like a child with a lemonade stand. It doesn’t feel serious, because, let’s face it, it isn’t when compared to other problems.

Men, by and large, are doing okay for themselves. They’re still out-earning women by significant amounts. Cancer doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it affects the whole of a person’s life. Disease aside, the richer a person is, the better their chances are, especially in countries where your cash inflow influences the quality of your care.

Men—or any privileged group—will have an inherent advantage when it comes to beating cancer and landing on their feet than more disadvantaged people.

So this November, let’s not keep patting the Mo-Bros on the head and tolerating this childish self-involvement-fest disguised as selflessness and the propagation online and in the media of the inherent importance of North American men and their problems.

Guys—keep shaving. Educate yourselves. Get checked. Be a man about it—don’t act like you’re hard-done-by.

There are a lot of people in the world who would trade your slight risk of prostate cancer for their serious risk of being raped, being killed, starving to death, or dying of preventable diseases. Prostate cancer is a hallmark of privilege. Deal with it.

And for everyone, if you’re going to donate money somewhere this month—and I encourage you to—look around for a cause more worthy, that’ll help some group that needs it more. I assure you, you won’t have trouble finding one.

Wow, getting cancer and then getting saved from said cancer is privilege? What are you going to say to a wife who buried her husband over prostate cancer? Or a child who misses their father? That she should be happy he was privileged for so long? While the mortality rates are lower, some men still die, while others deal with painful surgeries, chemotherapy, loss of income, and the same fears that other cancer patients fight as well.

I lost a wonderful and beautiful aunt to cancer and I'm also married to a cancer survivor.  I appreciate that you have now apologized (link here), but how dare you even attempt to justify your actions. You have ZERO defense and your empathy failure is unbelievably huge. Also, did you really use rape survivors as a means of shaming men (and their family and friends) concerned about prostate cancer?  

FUCKING REALLY?

I AM A RAPE SURVIVOR and I'm also concerned about prostate cancer.

Your empathy fail is on an epic scale.

Do you really believe that all men in North America are rich, have adequate health coverage and deserve to be mocked for being concerned about cancer? Should their partners, friends and families call you when they cannot pay the exorbitant medical bills? You gonna bankroll them, since you don't want them to get any funds, voluntarily donated from others? This is simply inexcusable and the weak apology you've offered is insufficient. Show you care by covering the issue with some empathy and maturity. Then, get out your checkbook and really show you care.

How can you even look in the mirror after writing this minimizing, taunting, childish and mean screed? This hateful article moved the term offensive to levels I cannot even begin to fathom. Apologies are meaningless in the face of such childish, callous, and hateful musings directed at cancer survivors and their supporters. You should resign but won't as you've clearly made this more about you in your apology and less about your actions. You cannot possibly explain this away with an "oops, my bad."

Megan Dolski, Opinions Editor for The Link, had this to say by way of an apology :

...as the editor of the opinions section I think it is crucial to retain the ability to publish articles that argue a point-of-view other than my own—my job is by no means to be a gatekeeper who exercises the authority to determine which opinions are “good” or “bad.” Whether or not an article jives with my ideological standpoint is an irrelevant factor in determining whether or not it makes it to print.

As an editor and publisher, I am not unfamiliar with controversial topics and strongly worded commentaries. That said, if you cannot tell the difference between thought-provoking commentary and sexist, classist, callous, outright mockery of cancer patients, then you are really not ready for this responsibility.

I appreciate that both Alex Manley and Megan Dolski have offered apologies for their roles in the mean-spirited mockery of male cancer survivors.  However, I question their sincerity given how they are still defending their actions via the "apology" offered by each.

James A. Landrith
Editor and Publisher
The Multiracial Activist
The Abolitionist Examiner
http://www.multiracial.com

Syndicated Blogger
Taking The Gloves Off
http://www.jameslandrith.com

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