The Thing About Holding Female Perpetrators Accountable I’ve been talking about my experience with female perpetrated sexual violence since 2008. In the decades since I first broke my silence, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend...
So, this is going to annoy some of you. Some of you will make excuses. What’s new? Some will be offended. Do me a favor, look in the mirror and think about it first...
February 7, 2026 The Multiracial Activist From the Editor: I’ve been married to a Black woman since 1993. I dated several Black women before her. I have multiracial children and a granddaughter. For...
One of the lesser talked about aspects of sexual violence related trauma is the impact on sexuality. No, I’m not talking about orientation, more how survivors express themselves sexually. For me, that looked...
As someone with national and international activism bona fides, this is one of my pet peeves. It happens often when new activists get dialed in on a single cause. There is NOTHING wrong with...
I train brand new victim advocates and Sexual Assault Response Coordinators about 6 weeks out of the year. During that training, we talk about relating to people and understanding how their experiences may differ...
Having a flat white at @bouldercafe29palms at 29 Palms, CA on a TAD trip.
Any time that men or women disclose sexual violence at the hands of women, breathless “allies” rush in out of the blue. Typically, they may say something generic like “all sexual violence is bad”....
It is always interesting and frustrating that so many professionals and incompetent activists rush in with “sorry you’re triggered” as a kneejerk response to even slight disagreement or justifiable anger when working with vocal...
Starting in 2008, I first started talking about my experience as a survivor of a likely serial female predator. Over the years, I switched from national activism to volunteer advocacy to paid advocacy as...
I’ve been telling my story publicly since 2008. I’ve told it to millions via broadcast, print and internet media as well as during live presentations on college campuses and military bases. One of the...
Since 2008, I’ve told my story to millions via various broadcast, print, and internet media. I’ve also spoken on several college campuses and military bases, among other locations. Following every presentation or training where...
Folks, in 1998, I decided to get in some “good trouble” by quietly picking a fight with a racist evangelical college in South Carolina. I published evidence of something they didn’t want to put...
This week, one of my favorite musicians and a beautiful human being passed away after a long fight with cancer. Along the way, he helped countless others with his nonprofit and advocacy work. Mike...
As part of my recurring male survivor class, I recently started talking about the difference between activism and advocacy. For male survivors, incompetence among activists is a frequent source of revictimization and victim-shaming. Soooo...
Periodic reminder that collusion is for the weak. No one is going to forget your shame when this is all over. I’ve been a civil liberties activist for DECADES. That hasn’t changed just because...
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